…And Then They Drive Each Other Insane
The decision to consider couples or family therapy is often difficult and confronting. But relationship therapy is a smart investment to create a secure and stable future for you and your partner.
I have created a warm, delightful counselling room where you can relax, learn more about yourself, your relationships with others and breakdown barriers to achieving your goals and dreams.
I create a trusting and non-judgemental [working relationship with my clients] and I [welcome couples and families] of every age, ability and sexual orientation.
Regardless of why or how long you’ve been unhappy and unfulfilled, professional counselling and guidance can help you in your decision-making process. You may be considering relationship therapy with serious doubts that you can resolve repetitive arguments and emotional distance. Perhaps you fear it is far too late to end ongoing criticism, blame and resentment.
Let me show you how to create and maintain a lasting, loving relationship, based on [Gottman Method Couples Therapy] which is backed by more than 40 years of research, science and education about the skilful arts of love and family life.
Relationship counselling aims to build hope and confidence and remove criticism and defensiveness. You explore how to increase respect and appreciation with each other, to reignite your closeness and intimacy.
[For more information, download EWS Couples Therapy Information sheet] (saved in Resources)
Repairing Emotional Distance
Do you feel like you have lost your best friend and find stranger in their place?
Gottman Method Couples Therapy empowers couples with a range of new skills, techniques and strategies to use in your lives on a daily basis. You can learn how to continuously deepen your friendship, trust and intimacy.
In therapy, couples engage in a series of essential conversations, and with skilled guidance, change negative interactions and learn to respond non-defensively, expressing empathy and kindness. Couples are supported to heal past and ongoing conflicts, connect in the present and create a positive future together. They share a deeper understanding of each other’s perspectives, needs and dreams. The benefits are a deep sense of shared meaning and high levels of trust and loyalty.
You can learn the skills that really work to create a deeper connection. You can bring back that love you have shared and look forward to the years ahead together.
Healing from Affairs and Betrayal
After the discovery of an affair or betrayal nothing seems the same
Intense emotions and recurrent crises are the pattern after the devastating discovery of an affair or betrayal. It is common for both partners to experience depression, (including suicidal thoughts), anxiety, and a profound sense of loss following the initial disclosure of an affair.
Other Forms of Betrayal
- Physical, financial and emotional abuse
- Forming coalitions with family or friends against your partner
- Breaking promises and repeated lying
- Conditional commitment
- Emotional affairs
Reactions to Learning about Betrayal
The reactions of the betrayed partner often resemble the post-traumatic stress symptoms of the victims of catastrophic events. These include –
- Shattered assumptions about their partner
- Feeling surrounded by lies
- Obsessively pondering details of the affair
- Continuously watching for further signs of betrayal
- Physiological hyperarousal, flashbacks and intrusive images
- Loss of trust in themselves and the world around them
Unfaithful partners may –
- Fear that they will be punished forever for the betrayal
- Grieve for the lost dreams
- Avoid or become angry when talking about the affair
- Feel unable to help their partner heal
- Struggle with overwhelming guilt and shame
There is hope. Professional counselling can help you assess, in an informed way, if there are opportunities to change and repair your relationship. With support through Gottman Method Couples Therapy, research data has shown that the majority of couples can survive infidelity and repair betrayals. You can recover, rebuild and develop an even stronger relationship.
Gottman Method Couples Therapy
For more than 40 years, Dr John Gottman has identified and tested the elements of an enduring, successful relationship. Gottman and his wife, psychologist Julie Schwartz Gottman, created the clinical treatment framework known as the Gottman Method and launched the Gottman Institute, a centre for training, research, and education. This is the only scientifically based approach to predict what it takes to make a great relationship and what predicts relationship disappointment and failure.
The Gottman Method has a wealth of great resources to help you to rebuild a resilient and happy relationship and has proven to be successful worldwide in helping couples re-ignite their relationship. Gottman Method is a broad-based treatment that serves all couples, at any age, and in any stage of a relationship.
Elizabeth is a certified Gottman Institute member and one of the very few therapists in Adelaide to offer this type of relationship therapy
The Gottman Method aims to…
- Build positive habits of appreciation and understanding
- Increase communication skills
- Manage conflict in a healthy, positive way
- Resolve ongoing arguments and tensions
- Improve the friendship and intimacy in your personal relationships
- Create positive ongoing changes
- Maintain improved communication and problem solving over many years
Download my Relationship Review…
Separation and Divorce Support
Divorce is one of the biggest transitions you will face in your lifetime.
The prospect of your marriage ending is distressing and can be emotionally overwhelming. It is essential to be as sure as possible that it is the only option available to you. This is the time to ask for help. Having an experienced, knowledgeable professional to help you find the right resources and information, as well as providing a supportive environment in which to heal, can be the difference between an awful (and terribly lonely) experience and an easier and less expensive divorce experience.
It’s not uncommon for people to feel sadness, even periods of depression, and sometimes ongoing emotional difficulties, following a difficult divorce. Post-divorce loss & unhappiness often lies in the same continuing conflicts that led to your relationship ending. You can find the support to make this next chapter of your life a more positive reality with counselling and better conflict management.
Collaborative Divorce: A Better Way
Collaborative Practice is the preferred method of resolving family relationship disputes. A team of skilled professionals are there to help you manage not just the legal issues, but difficult emotions, finances and children’s needs in a non-combative way.
Elizabeth is a trained Collaborative Professional Relationship Consultant.
In Collaborative Practice you have your lawyer with you throughout the four-way meeting to advise you and support you throughout the negotiation process. Your partner’s lawyer is also present. The meetings are facilitated by the Relationship Consultant and both parties independently consult with the Relationship Consultant and the Financial Consultant.
This video by CollaborativeSA provides useful information…
What does Collaborative Divorce involve?
- The minimum requirement for a divorce team is a good lawyer or mediator(s), financial experts (for help with budgets, taxes and investing), and a competent therapist.
- Each party retains a Lawyer to advise them throughout the process;
- Experts from the Financial and Relationship Counselling communities will be involved in the process as experts or consultants;
- At the commencement of the case a team involving Collaborative Lawyers, Relationship Counselling Professionals, Coaches, Child Specialists and Financial Specialists where applicable may be established;
- The parties and the relevant professionals sign a Collaborative Agreement setting out the ground rules for the process and agreeing that if the matter is not resolved through the Collaborative Process both Lawyers and other Collaborative Professionals are disqualified from representing either client in those proceedings;
- The process is underpinned by an understanding that the parties/the lawyers and other professionals involved act in good faith, are open and honest in their dealings with each other and conduct themselves in a respectful way;
- The majority of the negotiations take place at face-to-face meeting between the parties and the Collaborative Professionals. Correspondence between lawyers is kept to a minimum. Being present throughout the negotiations enables the parties to retain control and reduces the scope for misunderstanding.
- Once settlement is reached the lawyers will draw up the appropriate documentation to formalize that agreement.
Mediation involves a neutral third party who facilitates the discussion between you and your partner. The mediator does not give legal advice.
‘Family’ looks different for different people and might include your biological family member(s), caregivers, partner, step-family, housemates or close friends. Occasional tensions or arguments are a normal part of family life. When different opinions or beliefs that clash, then family patterns and history can seem to block opportunities for compromise and cooperation.
It is important to respond to family conflict in a calm and considered way that can hopefully lead to exploring mutual solutions where everyone feels heard. However, when strong emotions, longstanding unresolved issues or the power imbalances are present, families may not resolve the conflicts on their own.
To effectively manage all types of family conflicts after your own internal attempts have failed, it would be sensible to bring in an expert in family conflict resolution strategies.
There are different options available to you and your family members to address upsetting divisions and disagreement.
Constructive family relationships are so vital to our wellbeing. Family conflicts are unquestionably upsetting – sometimes they have quite a bit of history behind them. When family members are stuck in conflict it is predictable that they will each have a different perspective about the issues involved. They also may see different solutions and outcomes.
If family conflict is occurring on a regular basis it may start to have an impact on family member’s stress, mood, how they feel about themselves and impact on their relationships even when the conflict is not happening.
Family counselling supports families to better understand personal and past issues, attitudes and patterns to reduce risks of blame, escalating tensions or arguments. Family members find ways to understand each other better, repair relationships, move forwards and find shared agreements that look after relationships into the future.
Conflict feels different for different people. Some people don’t like conflict and will try to avoid it or please everyone. Others may try to defend themselves quickly as a way to protect themselves when they sense conflict. Others don’t mind conflict and feel confident in being able to express their perspective, hear others and respond to family conflict.
Family Mediation provides a structured step-by-step process in that ensures everyone is heard fairly and new solutions can be found to grid-locked problems.
We all need to learn more about how have difficult conversations in a respectful and compassionate way to help to increase understanding and heal past pains. Many people say they learnt a lot more about what really works to resolve conflicts and have a better understanding of how they can make a positive difference in their family through participating in mediation.
The goal in mediation is to develop a shared agreement about the positive steps each person can take to resolve these differences. It is often best if this is a written agreement in your own words.
The Family Mediator is an independent and neutral facilitator to assist everyone bring important issues to light and help people find their own unique and workable solutions to their problems.
As a [Family Mediator], it is my responsibility job to create a safe environment for respectful conversations that ensure there is a balanced discussion of issues and carefully considered exploration of the positive next steps forward for all.
Find out more about [Family Mediation Services]. (link to Resource/Family Mediation Services)
Conflict Skills Coaching
Often one motivated family member wants to lead the change in handling family conflict, to resolve family arguments and help everyone move past gridlocked issues. But there may be no easy way for family members to resolve the conflict without independent, professional assistance.
Conflict Skills Coaching provides a supportive learning approach when you need to improve your knowledge and understanding of complex conflict situations to manage difficult people or difficult circumstances.
Find out more about [Conflict Skills Coaching]. (link to Resource/ Conflict Skills Coaching)?
Proudly providing couples and families with resources from The Gottman Institute, committed to ongoing research that increases the understanding of relationships, and carefully evaluated interventions to create and maintain greater love and health in relationships.