Demanding, Dominant and Controlling People are an Increasing Problem at Work and in Business.
Research indicates that the number of controlling people is increasing. This problem exists in our competitive business world, government departments, sporting and community organisations, and schools. Perhaps even in your family dynamics. The anonymous and narcissistic opportunities of Face Book and other social media seem to reinforce this.
An increasing number of people feel besieged by these ongoing irrational conflicts.
- Managers who use fault-finding to dominate teams or individuals.
- Colleagues who continually complain and yet always seem to be caught up in some new personal battle.
- Frontline customer service and sales staff facing a growing number of angry and demanding customers every day.
Difficult, demanding people have a unique world view and they don’t compromise – the world should be organised around their needs. They take centre-stage. Each conflict is all about their needs. Their personality. But this is not reality. Far from it!
Controlling people have a sense of entitlement:
- They need to be right and will argue, threaten and intimidate in order to win
- They make unreasonable time demands for unimportant matters
- They get upset quickly even over petty matters
- They send hostile emails and post disturbing social media comments
- They lack insight into their actions and the consequences.
These are people, who despite their complaints, are not really interested in resolving problems or finding solutions.
Recognise anyone you know? If so, You may feel that you have been cast as an extra in their ongoing drama, a drama that just keeps on repeating. You may be cast as the Rescuer, as Hopeless, Irresponsible, or the Villain. Whatever you try, you may end up being told you’re responsible for all their woes. Your ‘role’ has been defined whether you like it or not. With changing circumstances this might alter, but you can be certain it won’t change in your favour.
Many of the common-sense strategies you might use for resolving disagreements with other people do not work here! You’re probably feeling exhausted trying resolve these conflicts, over responsible and confused.
This conflict is not about you, (even when they say it is). It’s about their difficulty managing their needs, emotions, frustrations. Keep this in mind at all times.
I’ve written a simple 6-step guide designed to give you the first steps to regain your sense of control with difficult people. I want to help you to understand the drivers for controlling people so you know how to identify the warning signs and know how to look after yourself.
These 6 essential steps will increase your confidence and success working with or managing the difficult, controlling people in your life. These strategies can reduce emotional outbursts, lower intensity of conflicts, help you hold your ground and ensure you have good support and self-care strategies.
Image Courtesy of Shutterstock